Envy and coveting
The other day, I was meditating on the following verses: “When you sit down to dine with a ruler, consider carefully what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are a man of great appetite. Do not desire his delicacies, for it is deceptive food.” Prov 28:1-3 I started thinking about what “delicacies” I might find myself desiring. If I sat down to talk or dine with a ruler — someone with influence and power within a company — what would I hope to get out of it.
After reflecting, I realized it’s not so much what I would want out of it, but what benefits others have that I might be envious or resentful of. I came up with some very quickly.
- Job and income security, regardless of how much work I did or how I treated others.
- Prestige, prominence, and a sense of self importance.
- Money to buy whatever I wanted.
- Freedom to do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it.
- Claiming things as business expenses that are actually personal expenses.
- Ability to reward myself or be rewarded with bonuses for the results of others’ work.
- Ability to blame others for my mistakes and be taken seriously — the slickness to deflect criticism away from myself and toward others.
Now it’s not a good reflection on me that I came up with this list so quickly. These behaviors may be common in the average company or corporation in our fine country today (no wonder we’re in an economic crisis). But none of these behaviors are those I would want associated with me. These are not the legacy I want to leave or the person I want to be. They are obviously “deceptive food.” So why do I resent it so much when I see others employing and becoming wealthy with them?
I think of Asaph, who expressed similar thoughts in Psalm 73:3-8 “For I was envious of the arrogant as I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no pains in their death, and their body is fat. They are not in trouble as other men, nor are they plagued like mankind. Therefore pride is their necklace; the garment of violence covers them. Their eye bulges from fatness; the imaginations of their heart run riot. They mock and wickedly speak of oppression; they speak from on high.” Corporate executives might make $200 to $500K a year, but they’ll scheme to get rid of someone who makes $35K a year, and then give themselves a bonus for “reducing costs,” for “making the tough decisions.” If they really wanted to cut costs, they could start with their own salaries . . . but I digress.
This I’m certain of — envy and coveting are detrimental to my own goals of vitality, health and a close walk with God. The more time I spend fuming about things others do, the more frustrated and discontent I am, and the more useless and powerless I become. I can’t make someone else choose to do the right thing. My focus should be on doing the things I can do to make a situation better. I’ve been reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey (New York: Free Press, 1989, 2004). He quotes Samuel Johnson on p. 93:
The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove.
This is a battle I have to win in my own mind. I have to believe that effectiveness and productivity are going to come by my choosing what is right, what has value, what will benefit others — what is true to the purposes and values I hold, regardless of what others do. As Asaph said, “When my heart was embittered and I was pierced within, then I was senseless and ignorant; I was like a beast before You.” Psalm 73:21-22 I don’t want to be like an ignorant beast. Envy and coveting are habits I’ve developed over the last 30 years, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that they have done me nothing but harm: my health, relationships, and emotions — all hurt by them. But as Steven Covey says, “Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.” That’s the tremendous privilege that God has given us — free will. I believe that with God’s help, I can eliminate these destructive habits from my life, and I’m committing myself to accomplishing this change.